Imagine you’re learning to drive a car for the first time. Someone gives you the vehicle owner’s manual to read, and then hands you the keys.

If drivers were trained that way, no one would be safe on the road.

But it’s a lot like how most guys learn about sex. You’re taught the basic facts of life, then turned loose to puzzle out your partners’ sexuality, and your own, by trial and error.

Experience is useful, but it isn’t everything. Even guys who’ve had a lot of sexual experience with women still make mistakes that could be avoided with better knowledge.

So you don’t have to learn the hard way, WebMD asked three well-known sex educators to tell us what they think are the most common sex mistakes men make with women.

Tristan Taormino is an author, lecturer, and video producer. Her latest book is The Secrets of Great G-Spot Orgasms and Female Ejaculation.

Patti Britton, PhD, MPH, is a clinical sexologist practicing in Los Angeles, past president of the American Association for Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT), and associate professor of sexology with the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality.

Chris Donaghue is a sex therapist and educator in Los Angeles and host of Bad Sex, a reality TV series on Logo.

Sex Drive Killers

Sex Mistake No.1: ‘I Know How to Please a Woman’

Men often assume that the way they’ve learned to please one woman works for all women. Not so.

“With every sexual partner you have, you do gain a growing body of knowledge of female bodies and female pleasure,” Taormino tells WebMD. “But women’s sexuality is complicated, and it’s really individual.”

Every woman’s body responds in different ways to sensation, and every woman’s anatomy is a little different. What feels amazing to one may do nothing — or even cause discomfort — for another.

“That is the detective work you need to do each and every time,” Britton says. “We really each have a sexual fingerprint.”

When it comes to intercourse, one key variable is your thrusting technique: Does she like it fast or slow? Deep or shallow? Or does she like to mix it up — slow and shallow at first, and then fast and deep?

Also, no one sex position is every woman’s favorite. She may prefer a certain sex position for several reasons. Different positions allow various angles of penetration, depending not only on her anatomy, but also the size and shape of your penis. Differences between partners’ body shape and height may make some positions better than others. And for some women, it’s important to have face-to-face intimacy during intercourse.

“I talk to tons of women who say, ‘I know missionary gets a bad rap, but I really like it.’ Others say, ‘It’s got to be from behind,’” Taormino says. “People are really across the board when it comes to positions.”

men.webmd.com

Imagine you’re learning to drive a car for the first time. Someone gives you the vehicle owner’s manual to read, and then hands you the keys.

If drivers were trained that way, no one would be safe on the road.

But it’s a lot like how most guys learn about sex. You’re taught the basic facts of life, then turned loose to puzzle out your partners’ sexuality, and your own, by trial and error.

Experience is useful, but it isn’t everything. Even guys who’ve had a lot of sexual experience with women still make mistakes that could be avoided with better knowledge.

So you don’t have to learn the hard way, WebMD asked three well-known sex educators to tell us what they think are the most common sex mistakes men make with women.

Tristan Taormino is an author, lecturer, and video producer. Her latest book is The Secrets of Great G-Spot Orgasms and Female Ejaculation.

Patti Britton, PhD, MPH, is a clinical sexologist practicing in Los Angeles, past president of the American Association for Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT), and associate professor of sexology with the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality.

Chris Donaghue is a sex therapist and educator in Los Angeles and host of Bad Sex, a reality TV series on Logo.

Sex Drive Killers

Sex Mistake No.1: ‘I Know How to Please a Woman’

Men often assume that the way they’ve learned to please one woman works for all women. Not so.

“With every sexual partner you have, you do gain a growing body of knowledge of female bodies and female pleasure,” Taormino tells WebMD. “But women’s sexuality is complicated, and it’s really individual.”

Every woman’s body responds in different ways to sensation, and every woman’s anatomy is a little different. What feels amazing to one may do nothing — or even cause discomfort — for another.

“That is the detective work you need to do each and every time,” Britton says. “We really each have a sexual fingerprint.”

When it comes to intercourse, one key variable is your thrusting technique: Does she like it fast or slow? Deep or shallow? Or does she like to mix it up — slow and shallow at first, and then fast and deep?

Also, no one sex position is every woman’s favorite. She may prefer a certain sex position for several reasons. Different positions allow various angles of penetration, depending not only on her anatomy, but also the size and shape of your penis. Differences between partners’ body shape and height may make some positions better than others. And for some women, it’s important to have face-to-face intimacy during intercourse.

“I talk to tons of women who say, ‘I know missionary gets a bad rap, but I really like it.’ Others say, ‘It’s got to be from behind,’” Taormino says. “People are really across the board when it comes to positions.”

men.webmd.com

You’re trying your best to enjoy an evening cookout, but a constant swarm of mosquitoes follows you from grill to poolside. The threat? A pierce to your skin, leaving behind an itchy red welt and possibly even a serious illness. As you swat madly at the pests, you notice that others seem completely unfazed. Could it be that mosquitoes prefer to bite some people over others?

The short answer is yes. Mosquitoes do exhibit blood-sucking preferences, say the experts. “One in 10 people are highly attractive to mosquitoes,” reports Jerry Butler, PhD, professor emeritus at the University of Florida. But it’s not dinner they’re sucking out of you. Female mosquitoes — males do not bite people — need human blood to develop fertile eggs. And apparently, not just anyone’s will do.

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Read the Relief for Allergies at Home article > >

Who Mosquitoes Like Best

Although researchers have yet to pinpoint what mosquitoes consider an ideal hunk of human flesh, the hunt is on. “There’s a tremendous amount of research being conducted on what compounds and odors people exude that might be attractive to mosquitoes,” says Joe Conlon, PhD, technical advisor to the American Mosquito Control Association. With 400 different compounds to examine, it’s an extremely laborious process. “Researchers are just beginning to scratch the surface,” he says.

Scientists do know that genetics account for a whopping 85% of our susceptibility to mosquito bites. They’ve also identified certain elements of our body chemistry that, when found in excess on the skin’s surface, make mosquitoes swarm closer.

“People with high concentrations of steroids or cholesterol on their skin surface attract mosquitoes,” Butler tells WebMD. That doesn’t necessarily mean that mosquitoes prey on people with higher overall levels of cholesterol, Butler explains. These people simply may be more efficient at processing cholesterol, the byproducts of which remain on the skin’s surface.

Mosquitoes also target people who produce excess amounts of certain acids, such as uric acid, explains entomologist John Edman, PhD, spokesman for the Entomological Society of America. These substances can trigger mosquitoes’ sense of smell, luring them to land on unsuspecting victims.

But the process of attraction begins long before the landing. Mosquitoes can smell their dinner from an impressive distance of up to 50 meters, explains Edman. This doesn’t bode well for people who emit large quantities of carbon dioxide.

“Any type of carbon dioxide is attractive, even over a long distance,” Conlon says. Larger people tend to give off more carbon dioxide, which is why mosquitoes typically prefer munching on adults to small children. Pregnant women are also at increased risk, as they produce a greater-than-normal amount of exhaled carbon dioxide. Movement and heat also attract mosquitoes.

So if you want to avoid an onslaught of mosquito bites at your next outdoor gathering, stake out a chaise lounge rather than a spot on the volleyball team. Here’s why. As you run around the volleyball court, the mosquitoes sense your movement and head toward you. When you pant from exertion, the smell of carbon dioxide from your heavy breathing draws them closer. So does the lactic acid from your sweat glands. And then — gotcha.

With a long track record — mosquitoes have been around for 170 million years — and more than 175 known species in the U.S., these shrewd summertime pests clearly aren’t going to disappear any time soon. But you can minimize their impact.

webmd.com

Feb. 2, 2012 — A disturbing 47% of people who have had a stroke have poorly controlled high blood pressure, researchers say.

“High blood pressure is the strongest risk factor for stroke, so you would think patients and their doctors would be vigilant about making sure blood pressure is under control,” says researcher Amy Towfighi, MD, assistant professor of neurology at the University of Southern California.

According to the American Heart Association, people with high blood pressure have twice the risk of stroke compared to people with normal blood pressure, and treating high blood pressure with medication and lifestyle changes such as exercise substantially reduces stroke risk.

One study showed that bringing high blood pressure under control would prevent half of strokes, Towfighi tells WebMD. In people with high blood pressure, treatment with medication is recommended to bring levels to less than 140/90.

Towfighi presented the findings at the American Stroke Association’s International Stroke Conference 2012.

A Visual Guide to Understanding Stroke

More Aggressive Treatment Needed

The study involved almost 500 adult stroke survivors who participated in a national survey from 1999 to 2004. A total of 72% reported they’d been diagnosed with high blood pressure at some point in their lives.

“We wanted to find out if their blood pressure was being treated and had been brought under control since the stroke,” Towfighi says. So her team brought them in for blood pressure measurements. 

“We were surprised that nearly half had poorly controlled hypertension — readings over 140/90,” she says.

Another 8% who didn’t report a history of high blood pressure also had readings over 140/90.

The study also showed that stroke survivors who had diabetes or who were older, female, or Hispanic were more likely to have poorly controlled blood pressure.

On the flip side, people who had a previous heart attack, drank alcohol, or were overweight were more likely to have had their blood pressure brought under control.

Both doctors and stroke survivors need to be more aggressive about treatment, says American Stroke Association spokesman Daniel Lackland, DrPH, professor of epidemiology and neuroscience at the Medical University of South Carolina in Charleston.

There are several different classes of medication that work to lower blood pressure in different ways, and often a patient needs more than one type, he tells WebMD.

So once a patient is started on one class of drug, it shouldn’t be assumed that it will bring blood pressure under control, Lackland says.

Patients may be reluctant to add another drug due to cost or potential side effects, but it could be lifesaving, he says.

These findings were presented at a medical conference. They should be considered preliminary as they have not yet undergone the “peer review” process, in which outside experts scrutinize the data prior to publication in a medical journal.

webmd.com

Feb. 2, 2012 — A disturbing 47% of people who have had a stroke have poorly controlled high blood pressure, researchers say.

“High blood pressure is the strongest risk factor for stroke, so you would think patients and their doctors would be vigilant about making sure blood pressure is under control,” says researcher Amy Towfighi, MD, assistant professor of neurology at the University of Southern California.

According to the American Heart Association, people with high blood pressure have twice the risk of stroke compared to people with normal blood pressure, and treating high blood pressure with medication and lifestyle changes such as exercise substantially reduces stroke risk.

One study showed that bringing high blood pressure under control would prevent half of strokes, Towfighi tells WebMD. In people with high blood pressure, treatment with medication is recommended to bring levels to less than 140/90.

Towfighi presented the findings at the American Stroke Association’s International Stroke Conference 2012.

A Visual Guide to Understanding Stroke

More Aggressive Treatment Needed

The study involved almost 500 adult stroke survivors who participated in a national survey from 1999 to 2004. A total of 72% reported they’d been diagnosed with high blood pressure at some point in their lives.

“We wanted to find out if their blood pressure was being treated and had been brought under control since the stroke,” Towfighi says. So her team brought them in for blood pressure measurements. 

“We were surprised that nearly half had poorly controlled hypertension — readings over 140/90,” she says.

Another 8% who didn’t report a history of high blood pressure also had readings over 140/90.

The study also showed that stroke survivors who had diabetes or who were older, female, or Hispanic were more likely to have poorly controlled blood pressure.

On the flip side, people who had a previous heart attack, drank alcohol, or were overweight were more likely to have had their blood pressure brought under control.

Both doctors and stroke survivors need to be more aggressive about treatment, says American Stroke Association spokesman Daniel Lackland, DrPH, professor of epidemiology and neuroscience at the Medical University of South Carolina in Charleston.

There are several different classes of medication that work to lower blood pressure in different ways, and often a patient needs more than one type, he tells WebMD.

So once a patient is started on one class of drug, it shouldn’t be assumed that it will bring blood pressure under control, Lackland says.

Patients may be reluctant to add another drug due to cost or potential side effects, but it could be lifesaving, he says.

These findings were presented at a medical conference. They should be considered preliminary as they have not yet undergone the “peer review” process, in which outside experts scrutinize the data prior to publication in a medical journal.

webmd.com

Nov. 3, 2011 — Worried about gaining the “freshman 15″? Forget about it and focus on your course load instead. New research shows that the freshman 15 is just a myth.

In the study, female students gained on average about 3 pounds during their freshman year and males gained about 3.5 pounds. This is just 1/2 pound more than people their age who didn’t go to college.

According to the study, 90% of freshmen don’t gain the freshman 15. One-quarter or more of all freshmen actually lose weight during the first year of college.

“There are lots of things to worry about during their first year of college, including your roommate and your studies. But gaining weight is not something you should worry about,” says study researcher Jay Zagorsky. He is a research scientist at Ohio State University’s Center for Human Resource Research in Columbus. “We can no longer say that everyone who goes to college gets fat. Just a few people go to college and get fat.” 

Zagorsky and Patricia K. Smith of the University of Michigan, Dearborn analyzed data on the weight of more than 7,400 college students to see if there truly was a freshman 15 phenomenon.

The new findings will appear in the December issue of Social Science Quarterly.

Weight Gain in College

About 10% of freshmen gain 15 pounds during their first year of college. Students in this group also drink large amounts of alcohol, such as a six pack of beer every weekend, Zagorsky says.

Other factors, such as living in a dorm, going to a public or private college, or attending a two- or four-year college, had no effect on weight gain, the study shows.

Although there may be no such thing as the freshman 15, female students do gain an average of about 9 pounds during their college years, while males gain 13.4 pounds, the researchers report.

This weight gain continues even after they finish college. Graduates gain about 1 and 1/2 pounds per year during the first four years after college. 

So where did the myth of the freshman 15 come from anyway? Zagorsky was able to trace back its origins to a 1989 article in Seventeen magazine.

And in theory, it made some sense. College may be the first time that some teens are fending for themselves at mealtime. If you factor in late-night pizza while studying, alcohol, and less physical activity, weight gain could occur.

“Temptation is there, but they are not packing on the pounds,” he says.

“The study provides one more piece of support that weight gain in college tends, on average, to be no higher than that of young adults not attending college,” Connie Diekman, MEd, RD, says in an email. She is the director of university nutrition at Washington University in St. Louis. “It is a good reminder that several factors impact weight, including activity, and when college students decrease their activity from high school this will be a contributor to weight gain.”

teens.webmd.com

Nov. 3, 2011 — Worried about gaining the “freshman 15″? Forget about it and focus on your course load instead. New research shows that the freshman 15 is just a myth.

In the study, female students gained on average about 3 pounds during their freshman year and males gained about 3.5 pounds. This is just 1/2 pound more than people their age who didn’t go to college.

According to the study, 90% of freshmen don’t gain the freshman 15. One-quarter or more of all freshmen actually lose weight during the first year of college.

“There are lots of things to worry about during their first year of college, including your roommate and your studies. But gaining weight is not something you should worry about,” says study researcher Jay Zagorsky. He is a research scientist at Ohio State University’s Center for Human Resource Research in Columbus. “We can no longer say that everyone who goes to college gets fat. Just a few people go to college and get fat.” 

Zagorsky and Patricia K. Smith of the University of Michigan, Dearborn analyzed data on the weight of more than 7,400 college students to see if there truly was a freshman 15 phenomenon.

The new findings will appear in the December issue of Social Science Quarterly.

Weight Gain in College

About 10% of freshmen gain 15 pounds during their first year of college. Students in this group also drink large amounts of alcohol, such as a six pack of beer every weekend, Zagorsky says.

Other factors, such as living in a dorm, going to a public or private college, or attending a two- or four-year college, had no effect on weight gain, the study shows.

Although there may be no such thing as the freshman 15, female students do gain an average of about 9 pounds during their college years, while males gain 13.4 pounds, the researchers report.

This weight gain continues even after they finish college. Graduates gain about 1 and 1/2 pounds per year during the first four years after college. 

So where did the myth of the freshman 15 come from anyway? Zagorsky was able to trace back its origins to a 1989 article in Seventeen magazine.

And in theory, it made some sense. College may be the first time that some teens are fending for themselves at mealtime. If you factor in late-night pizza while studying, alcohol, and less physical activity, weight gain could occur.

“Temptation is there, but they are not packing on the pounds,” he says.

“The study provides one more piece of support that weight gain in college tends, on average, to be no higher than that of young adults not attending college,” Connie Diekman, MEd, RD, says in an email. She is the director of university nutrition at Washington University in St. Louis. “It is a good reminder that several factors impact weight, including activity, and when college students decrease their activity from high school this will be a contributor to weight gain.”

teens.webmd.com

Oct. 31, 2011 (Washington, D.C.) — Women who live in the southern part of the U.S. are less likely to have ulcerative colitis and Crohn’s disease than those who live in the North, a new study suggests.

Researchers suspect that’s because people in the South spend more time in the sun’s ultraviolet rays, one of our body’s main sources of vitamin D. Studies have linked vitamin D deficiency to an increased risk of inflammatory bowel disease.

A second, preliminary study of 20 people suggests that high doses of vitamin D may help to relieve symptoms of Crohn’s disease. But it’s too soon to recommend supplements at this time, researchers say.

Both studies were presented here at the annual meeting of the American College of Gastroenterology.

Inflammatory Bowel Disease

Ulcerative colitis and Crohn’s disease are the most common forms of inflammatory bowel disease. Ulcerative colitis causes ulcers and inflammation of the colon and rectum. Crohn’s disease may affect any part of the digestive tract.

Both cause symptoms such as abdominal pain, bloody diarrhea, and bleeding from the rectum. Inflammatory bowel disease affects as many as 1.4 million people in the U.S.

Studies in Europe have shown that living at southern latitudes may be protective against inflammatory bowel disease. Boston researchers decided to find out if that holds true in the U.S. too.

They followed nearly 120,000 female nurses who didn’t have inflammatory bowel disease at the start of the study. Over a 20-year period, 284 developed Crohn’s disease and 332 developed ulcerative colitis.

Women who lived in southern latitudes at age 30 were about 50% less likely to have Crohn’s disease than those who lived in northern latitudes, reports Hamed Khalili, MD, of Massachusetts General Hospital in Hospital in Boston.

People who lived in the South were about one-third less likely to have ulcerative colitis than those who lived in the North, he tells WebMD.

Women who lived in the South at birth and age 15 were somewhat less likely to have the gut disorders than those who lived in the North at those ages, but those findings were not as robust, according to Khalili.

Impact of Moving From North to South

Fewer than 10% of nurses moved from one area of the country to another during the 20 years they were followed. Moving from the North to the South was associated with a 35% lower risk of ulcerative colitis and a 50% lower risk of Crohn’s disease. There weren’t enough women who moved from the South to the North to assess its impact on inflammatory bowel disease.

The study does not show cause and effect. Future research will be aimed at separating out the protective effects of vitamin D from those of ultraviolet light, Khalili says.

webmd.com

Oct. 31, 2011 (Washington, D.C.) — Women who live in the southern part of the U.S. are less likely to have ulcerative colitis and Crohn’s disease than those who live in the North, a new study suggests.

Researchers suspect that’s because people in the South spend more time in the sun’s ultraviolet rays, one of our body’s main sources of vitamin D. Studies have linked vitamin D deficiency to an increased risk of inflammatory bowel disease.

A second, preliminary study of 20 people suggests that high doses of vitamin D may help to relieve symptoms of Crohn’s disease. But it’s too soon to recommend supplements at this time, researchers say.

Both studies were presented here at the annual meeting of the American College of Gastroenterology.

Inflammatory Bowel Disease

Ulcerative colitis and Crohn’s disease are the most common forms of inflammatory bowel disease. Ulcerative colitis causes ulcers and inflammation of the colon and rectum. Crohn’s disease may affect any part of the digestive tract.

Both cause symptoms such as abdominal pain, bloody diarrhea, and bleeding from the rectum. Inflammatory bowel disease affects as many as 1.4 million people in the U.S.

Studies in Europe have shown that living at southern latitudes may be protective against inflammatory bowel disease. Boston researchers decided to find out if that holds true in the U.S. too.

They followed nearly 120,000 female nurses who didn’t have inflammatory bowel disease at the start of the study. Over a 20-year period, 284 developed Crohn’s disease and 332 developed ulcerative colitis.

Women who lived in southern latitudes at age 30 were about 50% less likely to have Crohn’s disease than those who lived in northern latitudes, reports Hamed Khalili, MD, of Massachusetts General Hospital in Hospital in Boston.

People who lived in the South were about one-third less likely to have ulcerative colitis than those who lived in the North, he tells WebMD.

Women who lived in the South at birth and age 15 were somewhat less likely to have the gut disorders than those who lived in the North at those ages, but those findings were not as robust, according to Khalili.

Impact of Moving From North to South

Fewer than 10% of nurses moved from one area of the country to another during the 20 years they were followed. Moving from the North to the South was associated with a 35% lower risk of ulcerative colitis and a 50% lower risk of Crohn’s disease. There weren’t enough women who moved from the South to the North to assess its impact on inflammatory bowel disease.

The study does not show cause and effect. Future research will be aimed at separating out the protective effects of vitamin D from those of ultraviolet light, Khalili says.

webmd.com

Oct. 27, 2011 — Eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia are more common among women than men. Binge eating, however, occurs at similar rates among both sexes. Yet men are rarely included in research studies on binge eating and its consequences and treatments, a study shows.

The researchers analyzed data from 21,743 men and 24,608 women who participated in a health risk self- assessment. Binge eating in the past month was reported by 7.5% of men and 11.19% of women.

The study is published in the International Journal of Eating Disorders.

Binge eating disorder is marked by:

Frequent episodes of eating large amounts of food in short periods of timeFeeling like you have no control over your eatingEating when not hungryEating in secret

Many people feel ashamed and/or disgusted by their binge eating.

Health Risks of Binge Eating

There are serious health risks associated with binge eating. These include:

Excessive weight gainObesityDepressionHigh blood pressureHigh cholesterolDiabetes

Both male and female binge eaters face these risks as a result of their behavior.

Just because men are underrepresented in studies about binge eating does not mean the problem does not exist, says Ruth H. Striegel, PhD, a psychologist at Wesleyan University in Middletown, Conn.

“Efforts are needed to raise awareness of the clinical implications of binge eating for men so they can seek appropriate screening and treatment,” Striegel says in a news release.

Susan Albers-Bowling, PsyD, agrees. She is a psychologist at the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio. “This is a very important topic,” she says. As a result of the lack of research, men and even doctors are not aware of the prevalence and symptoms of eating disorders in men.

The stereotype of a man with an eating disorder is that of a wrestler who spends time losing weight before a match only to binge once wrestling season is over.

“Sports can be triggers, but we need to think beyond the stereotypes,” she says. “It’s more than just athletes. Eating disorders in men are pervasive.”

It’s not just binge eating either. Men may also have anorexia and bulimia, she says. “Sometimes they are being treated for depression, and the eating disorder is uncovered in therapy.”

In general, “men tend to get less treatment than women for eating disorders, she says. But “men do struggle with their eating and should not hesitate to seek treatment because eating disorders do affect their quality of life.”

So how can you tell if it’s an eating disorder? “If it is affecting quality of life, relationships, or they are missing work, or it is causing other health issues such as weight gain or diabetes, it may be a sign that you need help,” she says. “There is help. You are not alone.”

Men Should Seek Treatment for Binge Eating

Christopher Clark is the executive director of the National Association for Males with Eating Disorders. Clark says that men with binge eating disorder may fly under the radar because it’s more culturally acceptable for men to overeat. As a result, they and others around them may think their eating habits are normal.

This is why binge eating and other eating disorders often go undiagnosed among men. Doctors may not ask and men may not tell, Clark says.

“Men should not be ashamed and should seek treatment because these are serious illnesses — and could be fatal,” Clark says. Clark’s group provides information, support, and resources for men with eating disorders.

webmd.com